I happened to have a chat with some friends somewhere in Internet Land a while ago about seductive food (hi gals!) and thought it would be only fair to educate the rest of you poor souls who need to impress your special person with food to get into their pants.
Now don’t panic. I’m not going to go all foie gras and caviar on you, so relax. I am going to make this dead easy, so that you will actually read through to the end. After all, I wouldn’t want you to tire your poor self out cooking and be too exhausted for the reason you did it all in the first place- some damn good lovin’.
Now maybe you’re married or partnered and looking to spoil your other half. Maybe you’ve got a new love interest and want to blow them away (no pun intended) with your culinary prowess. Maybe you get horny over food. *Cough* Whatever your deal is, just remember read this and you can’t really screw (again, no pun intended) this up.
Let’s start with the basics. Setting the right time and place for your rambunctious rendezvous is very important. After an 11 hour work-day is probably not the greatest time to expect some loving after a good meal. Choose a time when you will both be alone, uninterrupted. Palm the kids off to granny, turn the phone off, stay away from the forum you obsessively inhabit. Set the scene- if you want to seduce someone, it’s more than a bit of good grub and tug- you need to create a sensual environment that will encourage them to want to take their clothes off and make mince out of you.
You can go for the formal sit-down dinner at the table. That’s nice and gives you the opportunity to talk (if that’s your thing) face to face, without the pressure of it all being some big romantic dinner where you have to put out at the end. Alternatively, you can throw a picnic rug down on your living room floor or somewhere else you feel appropriate- even better if you have a fireplace) and enjoy your feast while lazing around on the blanket in a more relaxed manner. It’s almost too easy to root in this scenario! Picnic blanket, food, wine, maybe a few pillows. How could it not happen? Another option is to really head for the great outdoors with that picnic blanket, but I prefer to stick to the HQ- after all, public hanky panky can get you in some serious handcuff trouble- and not the fun kind! If all of that is too much effort, stay in bed. That way you won’t have to walk so far when the going gets hot.
When you’ve decided where you want to ‘do it’ (sheesh, me and these puns), set the scene with mood lighting, candles, scented oils or beautifully seductive incense. Play sexy music (except for Jamie Foxx- is that weird or is it just me?) and decorate the table or picnic blanket or whatever the hell you’re using with rose petals, a bowl of foil-covered heart chocolates and fresh flowers. This isn’t the time for your delicate white summery frangipani blooms, no, no, no! Go for intense flowers in deep hues of red, pink, violet. Choose flowers with a heady scent like lillies, roses, gardenias. If you use gerberas, I will personally smack you.
Decorate to appeal to all five senses. For sight, use ambient lighting and beautiful things like glass bowls with floating candles, vases of flowers, a seductive scarlet tablecloth, velvety rose petals sprinkled along the table runner or on the bed. For the sense of smell, there is the flowers, essential oils and scented candles and the delicious aromas coming out of the kitchen. For the sense of hearing, play soothing melodies and seductive beats. Make sure there is no extraneous noise to disrupt your little party for two. For the sense of touch, surround yourself with beautiful textures. Satins, velvets, feathers, anything over the top and a bit Moulin Rouge. It doesn’t need to be all fabric-centric- think of the food as well. Think of the textures of a bowl of freshly cut fruit, stickiness of honey, the velvety lightness of whipped cream. You get the idea. It’s getting hot in here. As for taste, well, make sure that whilst the food is being prepared, heated, whatever, there is something for you and your special friend to nibble on. Belgian chocolates, a few cherries, some chocolate dipped strawberries, some lollipops, anything that get’s that saliva going. Hee!
Next prepare yourself. Please bathe. Look ravishing. Look polished. Do your hair. Wear something seductive (no naughty nurse outfits please), or wear something totally boring only to strip off to something despicable underneath. Make sure you smell nice- something fiesty and seductive- don’t over-stench yourself, just spray it, as a certain cheeky little lady once said, ‘where you want to be kissed’ (I didn’t know you could spray perfume there??!)
Now that you’ve done all that, let’s focus on the food. Repeat after me, especially you European members of Internet Land. LESS IS MORE. Less is more. Less is more. Got the hang of it yet? Under no circumstances do you want to overstuff your special friend to the point where they are bloated, farting, crapping and wanting to sleep or just watch TV. Stick to simple foods that can be eaten with as little or no cutlery and stuff as possible! The last thing you want to be doing is cleaning the kitchen all night while your honey unzips their pants…to let their gut hang out!
If you still want to go ahead and do a three course meal, keep the portions small, keep your date lingering for more. Keep the flavours light- it’s a little hard to be turned on by garlic breath and curry farts. You’re not eating to get full, please remember that. If you’re eating to get full…you’re obviously already married.
So the options are- three course meal or finger food.
If you’re making the three course meal, start off with something light like a goats cheese and sundried tomato tartlet; a Caprese salad (left, image source) with cherry tomatoes, baby bocconcini and basil leaves dressed with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar or some mini-skewers with marinated meat of some kind. Make sure it’s melt-in-your-mouth tender. Or else! You can do pasta-but be careful. Pasta has a tendency to fill people up really quickly an doesn’t leave much room for much else. If you’re doing pasta, go for a few wild mushroom ravioli with a burnt butter and sage sauce. Little souffles are good as they are so light and delicate. You could do a leek and Gruyere souffle or something simple.
For your main course, I would recommend chicken, lamb, beef or vegetarian. I’m not sure you want to be smelling fishy while trying to get lucky. This is up to you really- everyone has different tastes. Whatever you do, choose a good cut of meat, a nice hearty filet and either cook it really slowly in the oven, crust it with some fragrant spices or herbs or grill it. Under no circumstances should you deep fry anything- people just feel yuck [and guilty] after eating fried food. This does not make for good screwy screwy!
Serve your main course with two sides. They must be something really light and shouldn’t really steal the limelight of the main dish. Some lightly steamed broccoli, carrots or asparagus drizzled with a dainty vinaigrette would be good. Cripsy roasted potatoes tossed with cumin seeds and rosemary is nice. Some julienne carrots drizzled with honey and tossed in sesame seeds is one of my favourites. Wilted spinach, sweet potato mash, sauteed cherry tomatoes, corn, minted peas, crunchy green beans- anything like this. The choices are endless.
Dessert is the show-stopper of the three course meal. How about a delicious Grand Marnier chocolate cake or a sumptuous fruit platter with honey, melted chocolate and dipping cream? The choices are endless- just remember, don’t choose something too rich that is going to make you both feel all sick and depressed about your flabby thighs. You can’t go wrong with cheesecakes, souffles, fruit kebabs with a cinnamon dipping yogurt or fresh season fruit, sliced or pureed and layered in attractive glasses with cream, crushed Amaretti biscotti and custard.
Now that we’ve dealt with the three course dinner people, let’s deal with the
lazy finger food people. You, my friends, may have thought you had gotten out of this easily, but the bad news is, when I said finger food, I wasn’t talking about the ‘cocktail party’ pack of Dim Sims and spring rolls in the Coles freezer section. Sorry. Finger food can be fiddly depending how all-out you want to go. On the whole, most ideas are simple just take a bit of prep work. So, speaking of spring rolls, little Vietnamese spring rolls with a lime and ginger dipping sauce are a good idea. You could do little skewers of anything really- my favourite are Caprese skewers (right, image source) , those boconccini we were talking about earlier, cherry tomatoes and basil leaves all threaded on little skewers and dipped in an olive oil dressing.
Little pies and tarts, figs wrapped in prosciutto, asparagus wrapped in prosciutto, well anything wrapped in prosciutto. Blinis with avocado, smoked salmon, dill and caviar. Little hors d’ouevre cases filled with cream cheese, chopped sundried tomato and topped with green olive tapenade… the possibilities are endless. Anything that can be eaten in a few bites, sans drippage, stench and mess is a sure-fire hit. Seeing as the lazy finger food people thought finger food would be easy, I’ve kept this nice and short to ensure they didn’t fall asleep read through to the end.
Now to drink. Alcohol. The end.
Hope this has helped. Or at least got you out of hanging the washing.
Copyright 2006. DelishDinners.wordpress
And now for some interesting facts about aphrodisiac foods that I thought you would all enjoy and find interesting. Personally, I think it’s a crock, but I’m willing to try anything once.
A very popular aphrodisiac with many culinary uses. It has been used as an aphrodisiac since the Greeks and the Romans, who believed aniseed had special powers. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire.
Given it’s phallic shape, asparagus is frequently enjoyed as an aphrodisiac food. Feed your lover boiled or steamed spears for a sensuous experience. The Vegetarian Society suggests “eating asparagus for three days for the most powerful affect”.
A symbol of fertility throughout the ages. The aroma is thought to induce passion in a female. Try serving Marzipan (almond paste) in the shapes of fruits for a special after-dinner treat.
Arugula or “rocket” seed has been documented as an aphrodisiac since the first century A.D. This ingredient was added to grated orchid bulbs and parsnips and also combined with pine nuts and pistachios. Arugula greens are frequently used in salads and pasta.
The Aztecs called the avocado tree “Ahuacuatl which translated means “testicle tree”. The ancients thought the fruit hanging in pairs on the tree resembled the male’s testicles. This is a delicious fruit with a sensuous texture. Serve in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.
The banana flower has a marvelous phallic shape and is partially responsible for popularity of the banana as an aphrodisiac food. An Islamic myth tells the tale that after Adam and Eve succumbed to the “Apple” they started covering their “nudity” with banana leaves rather than fig. From a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.
Basil (sweet basil)
Is said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility. It is also said to produce a general sense of well being for body and mind.
Broccoli Rabe (And Other Mustard Greens)
The ground seeds of various plants in the brassica family were believed to increase virility. In the case of broccoli rabe its more likely a myth created to get people to eat this bitter vegetable.
The Aztecs referred to chocolate “nourishment of the Gods”. Chocolate contains chemicals thought to effect neurotransmitters in the brain and a related substance to caffeine called theobromine. Chocolate contains more antioxidant (cancer preventing enzymes) than does red wine. The secret for passion is to combine the two. Try a glass of Cabernet with a bit of dark chocolate for a sensuous treat.
Another good reason to eat carrots–believed to be a stimulant to the male. The phallus shaped carrot has been associated with stimulation since ancient times and was used by early Middle Eastern royalty to aid seduction. High vitamins and beta-carotene. Perhaps a justification for a piece of carrot cake?
Caffeine is a well-know stimulant but remember, too much and it becomes a depressant. Serve small amounts of rich dark coffee in special little demitasse cups. Coffee stimulates both the body and the mind so partake of a little in preparation for an “all-nighter”.
Coriander (Cilantro seed)
The book of The Arabian nights tells a tale of a merchant who had been childless for 40 years and but was cured by a concoction that included coriander. That book is over 1000 years old so the history of coriander as an aphrodisiac dates back far into history. Cilantro was also know to be used as an “appetite” stimulant.
An open fig is thought to emulate the female sex organs and traditionally thought of as sexual stimulant. A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh Black Mission figs in a cool bowl of water as it is done in Italy and be sure to eat with your fingers!
The ‘heat’ in garlic is said to stir sexual desires. Make sure you and your partner share it together. Garlic has been used for centuries to cure everything from the common cold to heart ailments. This is a good time for moderation. Enjoy a pasta with a lightly garlicky sauce and it and lead up to something spicy in the bedroom later.
Ginger root raw, cooked or crystallized is a stimulant to the circulatory system. Perhaps a stir-fry with freshly grated ginger can stir something spicy up in the bedroom later.
Many medicines in Egyptian times were based on honey including cures for sterility and impotence. Medieval seducers plied their partners with Mead, a fermented drink made from honey. Lovers on their “Honeymoon” drank mead and it was thought to s “sweeten” the marriage.
The Chinese have used licorice for medicinal purposes since ancient times. The essence of the Glycyrrhiza glabra (licorice) plan, glycrrhizin, is 50 time sweeter than sugar. Chewing on bits of licorice root is said to enhance love and lust. It is particularly stimulating to woman.
Believed to stimulate the sexual glands and increase desire. Prepare a tenderloin roast (filet mignon) for two with a mustard and peppercorn sauce.
Nutmeg was highly prized by Chinese women as an aphrodisiac. In quantity nutmeg can produce a hallucinogenic effect. A light sprinkling of the spice in a warm pumpkin soup can help spice up your evening.
Oysters were documented as a aphrodisiac food by the Romans in the second century A.D as mentioned in a satire by Juvenal. He described the wanton ways of women after ingesting wine and eating “giant oysters”. An additional hypotheses is that the oyster resembles the “female” genitals. In reality oysters are a very nutritious and high in protein.
Zinc is a key mineral necessary to maintain male potency and pine nuts are rich in zinc. Pine nuts have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as Medieval times. Serve pine nut cookies with a dark espresso for a stimulating dessert.
Rich in vitamin C and and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Add a spear to a sweet Rum drink for a tasty prelude to an evening of passion.
Raspberries and Strawberries
Perfect foods for hand feeding your lover. “Both invite love and are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples” Both are high in vitamin C and make a sweet light dessert.
The Greeks and the Romans considered the rare Truffle to be an aphrodisiac. The musky scent is said to stimulate and sensitize the skin to touch.
The scent and flavor of vanilla is believed to increase lust. According to the Australian Orchid Society, “Old Totonac lore has it that Xanat, the young daughter of the Mexican fertility goddess, loved a Totonac youth. Unable to marry him due to her divine nature, she transformed herself into a plant that would provide pleasure and happiness.” Fill tall Champagne glasses to the rim and add a vanilla bean for a heady, bubbly treat.
A glass or two of wine can greatly enhance a romantic interlude. Wine relaxes and helps to stimulate our senses. Drinking wine can be an erotic experience. Let your eyes feast on the color of the liquid. Caress the glass, savor the taste on your lips. Do remember that excessive alcohol will make you too drowsy for the after-dinner romance. A moderate amount of wine has been said to “arouse” but much more than that amount with have the reverse affect.